Angels in Your Time of Need

It was the day I looked up at the beam in my basement and the thought "that would hold my weight" sprinted across my mind. I buried my head in my pillow, covered it with a blanket and sobbed. I sobbed because I had thought it and I sobbed because I wanted it. I could hear him through two sets of stairs - a duet of hysterical crying. It took over an hour before we had both calmed down and I could go back to my room and pick him up from the 'safe place to cry'. His back was drenched with sweat and I was drenched in guilt.

It was that day that you called, sharing with me 2 Nephi 4:34-35. That answer to your prayer was an answer to mine. I spent the evening soaking in the tub, memorizing the words while you rocked, shushed, and paced. I let the powerful words melt into me and fortify me giving me a hope that over the past few weeks had been foreign. For the first time in weeks I felt that with the Lord anything was possible and with trust I could overcome my pain.

It was the day you came over and respected my need to hide my tears and pretend like things weren't bad. I don't think I fooled you. Instead of calling me out you took care of things while I took a nap I obviously so desperately needed. You did not know what was going on in my mind but you saved me anyway.

The day after you brought over healthy, chocolate haystack treats. Another deposit in your already large account of good deeds. They went well with the random offer to bring over dinner. You spontaneously called me and asked if I could use another meal. I had lost count by now but I had no shame and accepted, feeling grateful for a good friend.

And now, months later, when frightening, hopeless thoughts are replaced with joyful, hopeful thoughts, I can see more clearly the time of my need and the way you, all of you, fulfilled a promise made to me. And thanks to you, I know, what I only frantically hoped for then, is that God keeps His word.